Smusshy Day

Well nice quiet day around here. Jelly face sat on my lap for 4 hours playing music on the computer. Every time we play “come what may “ the wedding song I cry, so Jelly tries to get me to cry by playing that song and then flips through the pics of my beautiful daughter getting married to the cool man.
Just to see if she can make me cry at the sight.(I'm such a mush)
Then she asked will you cry when I get married?
Duh, Ya your big sis and I will cry but not as hard as your Dad.

Threes

Three names you go by:
Mom
Babe
Kathy

Three screennames you have (I only have two):
primefire
Axesell

Three things you like about yourself:
My mind
My art
My kids

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My big ego
My laziness
My temper

Three parts of your heritage:
Polish
French
english

Three things that scare you:
Loneliness
Failing
My mom's death

Three of your everyday essentials:
Bloggin
Hugs
Call from my big kid

Three things you are wearing right now:
Jeans
My mom’s ring
A effin bra so they don’t sag to much !

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
Uncle Cracker
Dave Matthews
Regina Carter

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Come what may (Wedding song for the big girl )
Three little birds song -Bob marley
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Barenaked Ladies)

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Have Jelly call me mom again.
A Grandchild born
Write a book

Things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
Honesty
Respect
Sense of humor

Two truths and a lie:
I love the life I live
I am a great cook
I love the smell of children

Three physical things about the opposite (or same) that appeals to you:
Facial hair
Firm ass
His bad ass six pack

Three things you just can’t do:
Sing
Style hair
Pick out my clothes

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Blogging
Gardening
Online games

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
Have all my shopping done
Have some me time
Win the lotto

Three careers you’re considering:
Artist
Artist
Artist




Three places you want to go on vacation:
Italy
The Canaries Islands
England

Three kids names:
Bethany May
Sally Kaye
Katie Ann

Three things you want to do before you die:
Have a Grand child
Make Jelly face Know I love her.
Make Mrs D . Know I love her

Gagging on Lace

A week before Christmas and all through the house
not a damn thing is stirring not even the spouse.
The stockings are not hung by the chimney with care.
They are in a damn box , some effin where.
The presents are not bought and at this point I don't care .
Cause I think this holiday is so unfair.
The children are not nestled in their snug beds.
They are trashing the living room and kitchen, instead
I wonder at this point if Christmas will happen at all !
With the boxes , packing , u-haul and all.
Who thought this would be wise to close on a house
Two days before Christmas?
Oh my spouse.

Ok I wont yell to much. We will close on the Evil ones house ( see previous)
They want everything out by the 22nd sheesh don’t they know it's the holidays.
As of today we have most of it done and tomorrow I get to think of the holiday we have to put together in about three days.

Yes I am crabby, and I’m wondering what in the hell will I do with all this crap in boxes from the Evil ones house. Does it have bad karma? I do it for the Jellyface so she can have some of her Mothers things around . She needs it but tends to lean toward saint hood for her mom.

To be expected but it is hard because the mom’s tastes tend to the Victorian style and I am so Art Deco. How do ya make that blend?

I will be grown up. I will help Jelly with this. I just gag at all the lace and dried flowers soooo... not me.
The pace has been hard I just want a nice quiet day..soon Please I’m begging.

A Kiss

So where in this life did I ever think it was about me? Why did I have that idea, where did it come from ? I’m Important?Fuck no the kids, the man, that is the issue!
Ok so I had a bad day, no a bad life!
Look you people in my life I am doing the fucking best I can! I can’t help it if you fucked up!
Ok.. I just try and make it better! I can not help it if you can’t pay your bills.
I can’t help that you got married to someome with no boobs dear.(ex Hubby)
I can’t fix your Tax problems cause you ignored the IRS for 5 years!
I Can’t fix it ya assholes.
I can only love ya for the people in my life that mean something to me.

I just want some respect for the job I do as the love in this mix.
Is that to much to ask?
A kiss with no promise.
A hug with no reward at the time.
A task done by me with no payment.
Your laundry clean by your bed.
Your books marked in your folder.
Your dinner done on time.
Your class chaperoned by me?
Your juice boxes picked up.
Your friends invited and cared for in this house.
Presents for your friends bought by me.
Driven home and not yelled at by me for being bad bad kid.
Signing homework just for you cause you were sleepy.
Presents for your teachers.
Hooking up your bra on your wedding day!( big deal)
Taking you and your friends to catch crabs?
Letting ya go to your own life.
Trusting and loving the man your with?(even though he is cute and ever snarky)
Then loving a little girl and have her say “ouch” when ya hug her.
Not fair , I want to give up, I want to give in to what ever force is pulling me.

The Fire

THE FIRE

The flames dance frenzied across the wood, reminiscent of the pace of this past year.
Death , and the scope of agenda that follows.
The embers glow upon the logs making slow patterns to entertain.
Spreading calmness across the face of the fire and my mind.
Promising life will become better in time.
Beneath, the coals pulse steady and strong.
I feel the warmth spread though my soul as my heart rate
Slows to match the pulsing coals.
Sliding my feet closer I close my mind to this day, this year
and pray we don’t run out of firewood.

Refrigerator soup

Ah nice clean refrigerator!

Have you ever made refrigerator soup?

No ?

1 container of week old turkey gravy
1 bowl of dry stuffing
2 3 week old pork chops
1 dish of corn
1 dish of green bean casserole that only I will eat but could no eat the whole thing
2 bags of wilted lettuce
The cranberry sauce that Grandma brought that no one will eat more than a spoonful of just to be polite.
4 half drank juicie juices
Tray of veggies and dip wilted and runny
6 pears brown and rotting I was going to make poached pear and forgot
Leftover turkey leftover casserole ,you can only re-bake so many times.

Place all above ingredients into sink with water running turn on garbage disposable
Wala ! refrigerator soup!

Frog Pee

Jellyface says the funniest stuff. This happened a while ago but I thought I would share it.

While driving her to school in the fog I made the comment “ Jeez it sure is froggy out!”

With a very serious look on her face Jelly says “ well Kathy if it was froggy out everything would be green, and there would be frogs stuck to the windshield and you would have to put the wipers on .”

“If I put he wipers on the frogs would think it was like a ride at Disney and invite their friends”

Giggling now “You could use all the frog pee for gas in your car Kathy then it would hop down the road”

Giggling myself “ Well Jelly How in the heck would I do that?”

Straight faced again “ You would have to go to the Frog station to fill up. They have a tube with frogs in it and you pick one up and hold it over the hole and squeeze it and let it pee in your tank.”

Chuckling “ What if the frog doesn’t have to go?”

Giggling “ You give it some water but if it still wont go you put it in the used frog bucket and get a new frog”

Tears rolling I’m having a hard time driving “ Jellyface do you know how long it would take to fill up this car “

At this point we can’t look at each other with out laughing. We arrive at school as she walked up to the teacher she turns and says “ Frog pee”
I cant imagine what the teacher thought as I drove away laughing my ass off.

I still every once in awhile will make the car wiggle look at her and say “frog Pee”

Have you found my Chi?

“Yield and overcome;
Bend and be straight.”

-- Tao Te Ching





Lost : One Chi, sun colored , gently worn and humming soothing tones. If found please return to this website for reward of eternal
gratitude and warm hugs.

OK folks I am un-centered . Spinning like a top out of control!
This last year has been Zen removal at its best and the thought of another year starting is scaring me to death . I try to be optimistic. I try to suck it up and go on I try to be brave.

Instead I worry about MONEY, the 2 mortgages , the pooped out cars, the bills yet unpaid and CHRISTMAS. (spin, check bank)
I worry about Mr. T. worrying about, the 2 mortgages ,the pooped out cars, the bills yet unpaid and CHRISTMAS. (spin, rub back)
I worry about Mrs. And Mr. D. worrying about , the pooped out cars, the bills yet unpaid and CHRISTMAS.(spin, hug)
I worry about Jellyface and her attitude . Do all eight year olds sass this much? I have a hard time remembering back that far Mrs. D. is 26 now so it has been a long time. Do all eight year olds fight the homework so much? Do all eight year olds try to make their Dads mad at their Miss Kathy? (spin,yell)
I worry about menopause which has started hot flashes and all! (spin, sweat)
I worry about my Mom coming for a visit and finding me Chi-less. (spin ,clean, wobble , do laundry, spin)

In self healing efforts I have tried , prayer but that line is busy.
Yoga but the downward facing dog bites me! Drinking is fun but just tends to make you wobble more . Sex is good as well but does not happen often enough when your not Zen though the wobble does make it interesting. So I will attempt to write to find my chi.
(spin, type)

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